Are you praying?

One day, during the Divine Liturgy, a bishop noticed an elderly woman standing in front of him. Her face looked tired and troubled, as if she had carried a heavy burden for a long time. He watched her quietly throughout the service.

After the Liturgy ended, the bishop sent a message asking her to come speak with him. She came, just as he asked.

“Good morning, Ma'am, how are you? You look as if something is weighing on your heart,” the bishop said gently.

Surprised, the woman replied, “Oh no, Father… it’s nothing. I’m just old and tired, that’s all.”

But the bishop felt in his spirit that her answer was not the whole truth. He encouraged her kindly, telling her that if something was troubling her, she should share it.

Finally, the woman came closer and said:

“Father… prayer has become difficult for me. I don’t have a prayer book that I can open without being distracted. For the past few years, whenever I open my prayer book or close it, all these different thoughts start to flood into my head and derail my focus. By the time I finish the assigned prayer section, I don’t even know what I prayed or why. I don't feel God's presence at all. It has become so difficult that I feel like giving up.”

The bishop listened carefully. After comforting her, he said:

“Tomorrow morning when you wake up, stay on your bed for about fifteen minutes. Do not rush. Let your body settle. Pay attention to your breathing, to the beating of your heart, to the quiet movement of your blood, and to the stillness of the air around you.”

The woman did not fully understand the advice, but she thought to herself, “How can I refuse the word of a priest?” So she accepted it and went home.

Two Weeks Later

After two weeks, the bishop finished the Liturgy and stepped aside to rest. Suddenly, a joyful woman approached him—her face bright and full of peace.

“Father, may God bless you abundantly! What you told me has worked. God has helped me. May He keep you in His grace for many years!”

The bishop could not immediately recognize her. Confused, he asked, “Which matter, dear?”

She reminded him of her struggle and repeated the advice he had given her. Then she said:

“Father, God is so close!”

After listening, the bishop asked her one simple question:

“That is wonderful. But tell me—what did you learn from this experience?”

The woman answered:

“First, I learned that prayer is presenting myself before God. Prayer is not only speaking to God—it is also listening. If we never become silent, God will not speak to us. And even if He speaks, we will not hear Him.”

What Is Prayer for Many of Us?

In a book I recently read titled, Spiritual Clarity: The Taste of Prayer, I found beautiful reflections that speak to many Ethiopian Orthodox Christians:

We often say prayer means “talking with God.” But our practice is usually not talking with God—it is talking to God. To talk with God, you must first seek Him, find Him, and be present before Him.

If prayer is only words—without seeking, without listening, without waiting—then it becomes a habit, a duty, even a burden. For many people, prayer has become dry, lifeless, and exhausting. Some struggle daily. A few pray constantly, day and night, with joy. These are the ones who have reached the “taste of prayer.”

Your prayer life changes only when your understanding of prayer changes.

Prayer is the eye of faith that sees the Father who loves you forever. Prayer is the language of love through which you speak with Him. So do not fight with words—long to see His face.

Prayer is the doorway to peace, rest, and the freedom of being God’s child. Seek Him with your heart before your words.

Wisdom from Others

A wiseman once said:

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admitting one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

The Christian philosopher Søren Kierkegaard also wrote:

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but to change the behavior of the one who prays.”